Ive always known i have someone or something that protects me, i mean for fuck sakes i must be blind not to see. All the shit i caught on and the fact that im still alive - im not even joking and you wont understand how much shit i actually did survive. Protected in a blanket of narcotics for 20years? In the mix with a emotional rollercoaster filled with lots of shit and tears. Now not a single distraction to hold me back, now im grateful for all the heroin and crack. I can really focus on what im going through - i mean it is what i came here for in the first place to do. Completely understanding that there cant be a right or wrong so lets just do it and smoke another bong. With every relapse or shit i make my concience just wakes me up more, sorta peaks my emotions to the max and that pushes me through another door. Still difficult to explain how it feels now that im starting to wake and every now and then i feel so high that it feels like some downer i have to take. Yet everything looks new and bright, shining and glowing and looking so lite. So amazing how the universe carried, guided and protected till here, cant believe all the time and energy i wasted on worries and fear. Now i can be the light in the dark places but come to think about it thats sorta what ive always been and im talking in DARK places, always shining brighter and brighter...but in your own life? Cant wait to see what the future holds for us all, it will be amazing...
'Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.'
Buddha
