Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Emotional cleansing - say what?

Every single time i start settling down and relaxing after the day something bad i did triggers this feeling inside me and if i didnt do anything negative...well, it still starts either way. It starts with something huge bothering me and if i didnt do anything negative...well, something huge still bothers me and i just dont have a clue as to what? Ill start looking and looking deep inside me, scan all thats wrong in the world and then my earliest memories and when im finally done burning my brain my mind steps in and takes over. Yes, ive gotten to the point where i just lay back and let go but if you think as much as what i do... Well, then youll understand its not that easy. The weirdest and what i wouldve thought was the most insignificant things caused patterns that was literally holding me back and/or affecting every single choice i made - a conversation my parents had while waiting for a salary to be deposited, a picture with a 'fishermans prayer' on that used to hang on our kitchen wall when i was very small and even our minister who was an alcholic...i mean really, i wouldnt have even look at any of those things as things that were holding me back yet i released all of them through my heart chakra and then it shook out of me leaving me lighter and then it feels like i start 'vibrating' faster and faster. I can literally feel the negative emotions and experiences peel of me and/or get pulled or shaken out of me. Started seeing peoples auras bigtime and even peeked throught what i think was the veil of secrecy which was just as overwhelming...sorry, im just babbeling and am i even making sense OR am i just slowly losing my mind??? Not so sure...
Nevermind ...

'I found it hard.
It was hard to find.
Oh well, whatever, nevermind...'

Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit

Sunday, 3 November 2013


Everything i know or thought i knew has been shredded to bits, my idea of the world has changed so many times over the past year its actually difficult to believe where i was standing a year ago. It all started with an accident and a bigger understanding of what the hell is really going on in this dimention, the lies the manipulation and once you understand it then it gives you the amazing oppertunity to find the truth. The emotional cleansing part is a wee bit of a bitch tho cause it starts with something bothering you bigtime and you cant pinpoint what it is and the more you try to figure it out the more you cockblock yourself. But when you let go and your mind starts to run in the weirdest and most 'insignificant' things you will find this huge pattern thats been dominating your whole life without you even knowing it. Once you realize the root cause and the pictures in your mind line up and you have this 'FREAKING WOW!!!' moment it starts tumbling like dominoes and then releasing through my heart chackra and i can feel how the negativity slowly fills my entire body and when my body is 'full' from head to toes it either gets pulled, shaken or span out of my body and immediately i feel lighter and then i cant keep my eyes open, have to sleep, wake up, new person. Weird patterns that has literally been inprisoning me in others peoples fear and bad habits, yet so amazing and liberating to let go of, others peoples insecurities and beliefs picked up by you as you go through life oblivious of how its gonna hold you down. But after every cleansing session i am more awake, more aware, knowing things ive never learnt, understanding huge concepts yet being misunderstood by everyone you are trying to uplift. Understaning everything yet misunderstood by all? After a while you kinda get used to being called 'freak' and 'the crazy guy' and i can promise you its not easy to communicate with people who are still caught up in old 3d thinking patterns. Because i see things in 5d, i understand exactly what the other people mean and say cause i used to see things like that aswell so i understand them...its just i feel like im talking in a foreign language when i talk to then cause they ont have a freaking clue as to what im saying and trust me its hard to convince yourself you are sane when you are in the minority - especially when you tell the people closest to you about your experieces and they tell you to stop talking about it cause you sound high and people think im crazy...but anyway, such is life...or am i really crazy and did actually lose it long ago?

'Even in a minority of one the truth is still the truth'

Mahatma gandi