Every single time i start settling down and relaxing after the day something bad i did triggers this feeling inside me and if i didnt do anything negative...well, it still starts either way. It starts with something huge bothering me and if i didnt do anything negative...well, something huge still bothers me and i just dont have a clue as to what? Ill start looking and looking deep inside me, scan all thats wrong in the world and then my earliest memories and when im finally done burning my brain my mind steps in and takes over. Yes, ive gotten to the point where i just lay back and let go but if you think as much as what i do... Well, then youll understand its not that easy. The weirdest and what i wouldve thought was the most insignificant things caused patterns that was literally holding me back and/or affecting every single choice i made - a conversation my parents had while waiting for a salary to be deposited, a picture with a 'fishermans prayer' on that used to hang on our kitchen wall when i was very small and even our minister who was an alcholic...i mean really, i wouldnt have even look at any of those things as things that were holding me back yet i released all of them through my heart chakra and then it shook out of me leaving me lighter and then it feels like i start 'vibrating' faster and faster. I can literally feel the negative emotions and experiences peel of me and/or get pulled or shaken out of me. Started seeing peoples auras bigtime and even peeked throught what i think was the veil of secrecy which was just as overwhelming...sorry, im just babbeling and am i even making sense OR am i just slowly losing my mind??? Not so sure...
Nevermind ...
'I found it hard.
It was hard to find.
Oh well, whatever, nevermind...'
Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
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