Monday 15 October 2012

Thought number...i dunno???

So much to say but i cant find the words, so much to do but i dont
know where to start. Such a radical change in my life in such a short
period of time. Litteraly went from dark to light in one realization,
not even a choice but a realization and after that things just started
falling into place. for the first time im excited about the future and
all the happiness and prosperity coming my way rather than making the
mistake about worrying about when im gonna fall into darkness again.
So much misery i caused for myself and so unnecessarily and the
saddest part of it all is that i wasnt even aware of what i was doing
to myself. Wallowing around im my self inflicted misery for so long,
pushing myself into this deep and dark groove while convincing myself
that i wasnt in control, nevermind being able to get out of it.
Hectically indoctrinated by all the negative thoughts and messages
being sold to me at the cost of my freedom and my soul with the sole
purpose of creating this stigma that i am powerless, have no control
over my life, my choices and my free will. Being spoon-fed so much
misinformation and feeding into it more and more as each day
progressed. So sad but so true...


'Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think
we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to
be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about
it.'

John Lennon

2 comments:

  1. Hi Neil,
    Generally you get out of life what you put into it, you're last blog was so fuelled with negativity & self loathing that I had started to find it difficult to read. You even said yourself that you were saying the same thing over again & again. Cynicism & pessimism are deep holes to lose yourself in & become trapped, but it's only thoughts that lead us to these dark places & we have power over our thoughts, and we can change our thoughts. Well I like to think so anyway but that's a philosophical subject that had me spinning round in circles for years and led me down even deeper holes.
    Take care my friend. Karl

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  2. You talk about powerlessness and I've got this Belief (I won't call it a theory because I absolutely think it is true) ~~ all this crap you hear about drug addiction being a "choice"... Well that's stretching any definition of "choice" to the absolute limit. Addicts don't "choose" to use drugs. It's not a rational, thought-out decision with any true possibility of a Yes or No. When you're full-on addicted, you use your drug of choice automatically! Saying that an addict "chooses to use heroin" is a bit like saying the pilot of a hijacked plane with a gun to his head "chooses" to land at some totally unplanned and unscheduled airport in the wrong country. Well heroin is a chemical gun to the head, telling you that however bad your life may be if you do use, life will be totally unlivable if you don't.

    Yes I suppose as addicts we do have one choice, and that's the option not to use. But as choices go, that's the toughest one of all to take...

    The John Lennon quote reminds me of a theory by the documentary-maker and journalist John Ronson, who posits that the world is run by psychopaths!

    http://www.jonronson.com/psycho.html

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