Every single morning as i open my eyes and start focussing i can see things that things are changing, things are brighter, everything looks lighter. Always have thought differently than everyone else i know, always pushed to the side, laughed at or cast out cause of my ideas. But when my journey started? There was no stopping it, my thirst for the truth became unbearable and when you really want it the universe delivers and the truth is NOT always the answer you want. And dont think its gonna cause people to accept you more - its good i got used to being the outcast long ago otherwise i wouldve backed out of this journey long ago just to make my life easier - all of a sudden im happy that i was addicted for nearly 20yrs, talk about a blessing in disguise. I wouldve been so caught up in what others wanted of me and what i have to buy and do to impress people that are only there cause the times are good then i wouldve missed the whole point but anyway. When shattering your indoctrination it literally feels like your world gets shaken when you start to realize that everything they ever taught you is a lie, a lie that your parents told you with all the love and good intent in their hearts - sad but true. Constantly looking at the clock @ 11:11 - i mean i even had an accident one morning @ 11:11, a guy showed me 'lets go', i was slipstreaming him on my scooter and all of a sudden he just stopped infront of me and when i got up he drove off? I actually have to thank him cause that really WOKE me up but not wake me up to appreciate life more, no! A different awake, awake to a different reality and since then its been escelating in leaps and bounds. Every question i have gets answered, after i understood unconditional love for others and unconditional love for myself the game has changed completely - some days it feels like there is light shining down into my head, through my body, out my spinning chakras in the front and in my hands, my hands are sometimes so hot others can feel it and responds to the heat - and on cold mornings aswell so dont even think about it. Understanding and knowledge isnt just in my head anymore its part of me, things that i didnt even know bothered me plays of in my head, it fills my body completely from the soles of my feel to the top of my head and when im 'full' it gets pulled out, i can physically feel something being taken out of me and then i feel lighter afterwards but cant keep my eyes open, im talking have to fight to keep them open, i fall asleep and wake up a new me. Same with knowledge; it feels like i 'download' it, my brain tears, i HAVE to sleep and wake up new. I dont even see the 'now', its as if im looking from the top and see everything as a whole. Used to worry about humanity and weep, now i see new hope cause if this is where we are headed... its gonna be amazing!! Well thats enough crazy for one day i suppose but theres a lot more where that comes from...Losing it? I dont think so...
'You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.'
Buddha
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