How does one keep sane if you know evrything youve ever been taught is a fucking lie, that you actually have to go and look for the truth is scary but when it comes to you its sooo fucking liberating. Hey man, look on th bright side...it only took 20 years of addiction to get here, and heres where the problem comes in...anyone educated in the system that hears that will say im fried from all the button smoking, freebasing, scharfing coke, mdma, lsd, magic mushrooms, shooting h, sniffing glue, ganja, meth and everything that gives a buzz(sorry i had to give them more evidence to say im fucked or fried) but i know whats going on inside me, i can feel the emotional cleansing, it literally feels like layers of negativity being pulled out or off me, then tired as hell - fall asleep, wake up, feel like a million bucks and a new person. The change is sorta like the change you go through when you trip, come down, cry, wanna kill everyone, wanna kill yourself, wanna kill yourself again, eventually fall asleep and wake up, that same change BUT only with a deeper understanding. Snotty nose, full moon fucks me up harder than normal but so does no moon - GOD u cant win. First learning to love unconditionally than letting go of hate, then fear, getting understanding, and the way i see and feel about the world is changing more and more as im changing with everything i learn and understand. Alone? Yes! Difficult? Definately! Worth it? You dont understand! So amazing to love yourself, feel the balance in your chakras and life and loving every second of the experience just dreading those cleaning phases. Much faster and closer toghether as at the beginning and the cleansing part actually shook my body lastnight like a heroin cold turkey an then? I saw my soul, my real self not the reflection of me emotions that manifest in the 3rd dimention that i see when i look in th mirror, the whole thing, beauty, love and understanding, amazing and aweinspiring. Letting go of everything just makes you lighter and the world so much brighter...crazy but amazing!!
'none but ourself can free our minds'
Bob Marley - Redemtion song
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