What else left to say? Please take this pain away? Cutting and ripping flesh from bone and skin, looking back for answers to questions like: where did this shit actually begin? How in the name of god did you fall into this trap? And how the fuck can one get addicted to this crap? Cause i promise you that this shit is really not a smidgen of fun, constantly craving, missioning, scoring and always on the run. Saddest part is that this one isn't a 'want' but a 'need', with an added bonus of constant cravings you have to feed. Normality and sobriety is a strangeness you fear - while you start losing your mind when cold-turkey draws near. Whole life and schedule planned around using? And its one of the things in life you are not choosing, not in control in any way, like a game of russian roulette with 5 bullets to play. Fearing the sweat that starts breaking and covers your back - trickeling in an uncomfortable stream down through your crack. Shivering and sneezing and for your mood there is just no pleasing. Everythings wrong and nothing is right, miserable, edgy, short-tempered and all you want to do is fight. Not even enough energy to lift your ass though. Vision gone, systyem fucked and reflexes from non-exsistant to very extremely slow. Millions of lost thoughts scattered all over nowhere, no way in life for this hell to prepare: you quickly pick it up as you go along, and the moment you had it everything just went pearshaped and wrong. The hate, struggling and suffering nearly kills you and that makes you hard, agressive and cold, it feels as if your soul to the devil you sold. A part of you forever lost and the rest changed; everything else is fucked and totally and completely rearranged. Change, change, change! But you believe normality is strange? Once again no sense in what im writing? thinking so hard my lip im biting? All i know is now i have to turn it around, fix everything and do it right. With everything that i have, love and hold dear put up one last fight...
'No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.'
Buddha:::2:aec240d95fd5c45e2e1afc7a0467468a:-1:0:::
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